9 talking stage red flags people often ignore

The talking stage can be fun, flirty, and full of potential—but it’s also where people tend to wear masks.

It’s easy to ignore subtle red flags when you’re caught up in the excitement. But those “little things” you brush off? They often become dealbreakers later.

Here are 9 red flags people commonly ignore during the talking stage:

1. They’re hot and cold for no reason

One day they’re all over you, the next they disappear. This kind of emotional inconsistency is usually a sign of either disinterest or emotional immaturity.

2. They avoid deep or personal questions

They’re all jokes and surface-level convos. If they shut down or change the subject anytime you try to get real, that’s a sign they’re not open or ready for something serious.

3. They only reach out when it’s convenient

Late-night “wyd?” texts and long gaps between responses? If they’re not making time for you early on, they won’t later.

4. You always initiate the conversation

Communication should be mutual. If you’re doing all the work to keep the convo going, that’s a sign they’re not as invested.

5. They talk about their Ex… A lot

Mentioning an ex occasionally is normal. But if they constantly bring them up—or blame everything on them—it’s a red flag they’re not over it.

6. They’re vague about what they want

If they’re dodging questions about their intentions or saying things like “let’s see where it goes,” take note. That’s code for “I don’t want to commit.”

7. Your gut feels uneasy around them

Intuition is powerful. If something feels off—even if you can’t explain it—don’t ignore that feeling.

8. They disrespect boundaries or pressure you

If they push past your limits, make you feel guilty for saying “no,” or ignore your comfort zone, that’s a serious red flag.

9. They talk badly about everyone

If they constantly trash talk friends, exes, or even their family, that negativity might eventually be turned on you. Watch how they speak about people who aren’t around.